Change
by HoeOfGrimdark
Summary: Why would someone who was once so beautiful change? Warning for eating disorder


A/n: For God sake why can't I write anything happy..? This is why we can't have nice things!

Anime: Hetalia Axis Powers

Paring: N/A

Warning: Eating Disorder

"_You are not a mistake. You are not a problem to be solved. But you won't discover this until you are willing to stop banging your head against the wall of shaming and caging and fearing yourself." __  
__― __Geneen Roth_

The weight machine always was a nightmare for France. He looked at the weight shown on the screen. He always weighted himself to make sure he stayed perfect because that was what he wanted, perfection and beauty. He did it properly, weighing himself with no clothes on after a shower. He would be a hypocrite if not because of how much he talked about it. Although wanting perfection and beauty sometimes lead to problems.

"Mon Dieu," France said biting his lip, he looked at the mirror. Now in reality, France was pale, very skinny and ill looking but in France's mind, he was bigger than what he really was and it made him want to puke.

"_Why? Why can't I lose this weight"_

He shouldn't of watched those French models, he was fine the way he was but they put it into his head that his weight maybe wasn't perfect and hell even made him think he was overweight. Those French models were all close to size zero and well.. France wasn't close but he wasn't overweight either. He was just about the right size. It has been a few mouths and he's been starving himself and when he did eat, he would fuss over the writing on the tin. Being a nation, the chances of him dying were slim since it was basically like immortality but he still became ill and on occasions would faint from the lack of food. His energy also went down meaning he was weaker. His body looked a mess, a walking skeleton he had became.

"_Why can't I be perfect? Why can't I be beautiful again?"_

The phone rang and it gave France a fright. He took out his phone and looked at the caller id _Prussia_. He answered anyway, wondering what Prussia wanted.

"Bonjour?"

"Hallo France, Awesome Prussia here. I'm with Spain right now and we were wondering if you wanted to come over, Spain's getting his awesome cooking skills and -."

At the mention of cooking, France cut him off, "... I'm busy, _je m'excuse," _

"Awh come on France, You never turn down cooking, I thought you could cook as well,"

"Je suis désolé, Maybe another time,"

"Ja Okay, See you later," Prussia said with a hint of disappointment in his voice.

"Oui, bye," France said before hanging up.

"_Some people who are obsessed with food become gourmet chefs. Others become eating disorders."  
― Marya Hornbacher_

"He said no didn't he," Spain said looking at Prussia with slight concern.

"Once again, he's busy,"

"Isn't he always busy?" Spain questioned, "I don't know, but I'm worried about Francia,"

"It would be un-awesome if he was missing our get-together's on purpose,"

"Ja, We should go and speak to him,"

"Agreed,"

" _You may learn, as I have, that you would rather be a human than a human's thin shell. You may get well. But you never forget."  
― Marya Hornbacher _

France wished he could of said yes to Prussia, he was very much fond of Prussia and Spain. Well they were the "Awesome Bad touch trio" as Prussia would usually say (hence the "awesome") but he had no energy. Being anorexic made changes psychically for him and even if he did, Spain would be making food and France wouldn't eat anything and they would now that something was wrong. No one really knew much about this, A lot of people noticed him looking ill and would ask him if things were alright which he would say everything is okay. Some people were worried but they would never guess anorexia, France was inlove with his own body to do something as stupid as that.

It started when he began attending those stupid fashion shows. He enjoyed fashion most of the time but the models were all so thin. Was he meant to be like them to be beautiful? Was this beauty now? Even males were doing it but what France didn't know or forgot to take into consideration was the amount of problems there are and incase your wondering if France is happy with this. Deep deep deep down inside... theres emptiness.

But even as everything dramatically changed for the worst, he stayed doing this and this was how it was. He was even losing his hair over this, and he looked much older than someone who is meant to look tweenty six. Why would someone who was once so beautiful change?

The answer isn't as simple..

A/N: Personally I have never had a eating disorder so I can't say for sure how someone would act. I tried to keep this as in character as possible but seriously.. someone with anorexia would be slightly out of character but I apologize for those bothered by it...This will be 2 Chapters long so .. Yeah.


End file.
